Transp0rners
by Seximus Prime
Summary: a conversation via skype.


_*le skype*_

—

**Megatron**: OHAI

**Optimus Prime**: HAI THERE

**Megatron**: WAZZUP

**Optimus Prime**: NUTTIN MUCH. BEING FUCKING AWESOME LIKE USUAL.

**Megatron**: READING BAD FANFICTION LIKE A BOSS. THERE'S A SHIT TON OF TWILIGHT FANFICS I ADORE.

**Optimus Prime**: SWEETNESS

**Megatron**: OH HELL YES

**Optimus Prime**: OH BTW BITCH, I FUCKED YOUR MOM SO HARD LAST NIGHT. I COULD BARELY GET ALL THE SHRAPNEL CLEANED UP AFTER I PRACTICALLY DESTROYED HER.

**Megatron**: AWWWWWW HELL NO OPTIMUS. I'MA HAVE TO COME OVER THERE AND SETTLE THIS.

**Optimus Prime**: WELL U GONNA GET AN ASS WHOPIN WHEN IM THRU WITH FU

**Megatron**: WE SHALL SEE, MAI BEEYOTCH.

**Optimus Prime**: HA U GOING DOWN

**Megatron**: NO WAY MAYUN. U SEE THIS BIG-ASS GUN HERE? YEAH, I THOUGHT SO.

**Optimus Prime**: HAHAHA NO I HAVE A CRANE PENIS SO I ROCK

**Megatron**: FUCK YOU OPTIMUS. FUCK YOU.

**Optimus Prime**: ILL FUCK YOU WITH MY CRANE PENIS

**Megatron**: OH GOD NO. TAKE SOMEONE ELSE INSTEAD.

**Optimus Prime**: NO. IT SHALL BE U. PREPARE TO BE PENETRATED BITCH

**Megatron**: FFFFFFF BUT OPTIMUSSSSSSSSSSSss

**Optimus Prime**: NO BITCH. SHUT UP AND TAKE IT IN THE ASS

**Megatron**: BUT WE'RE TRANSFORMERS WE DON'T HAVE ASSES

**Optimus Prime**: ILL MAKE A HOLE THEN

**Megatron**: WATFUCK. YOUR LOGIC IS MORE TWISTED THAN MINE IN DAT 80'S CARTOON

**Optimus Prime**: WELL I AM OPTIMUS PRIME. I CHOSE TO LET SHIA LIVE AND FUCK EVERYTHING UP

**Megatron**: BUT AT LEAST MEGAN FOX WAS THERE. I MEAN...NEVER MIND, DISREGARD THAT.

**Optimus Prime**: YEAH. I FUCKED HER WITH MY CRANE PENIS THOUGH

**Megatron**: OPTIMUS...YOU FUCK EVERYONE WITH YOUR CRANE PENIS.

**Optimus Prime**: I DO, I DO. I MEAN ITS JUST KINDA STICKING OUT, SOMETIMES THESE THINGS JUST HAPPEN

**Megatron**: ON ACCIDENT YOU SAY? I THINK NOT.

**Optimus Prime**: :P

**Megatron**: YOU'RE FAPPING. I CAN SEE YOU, GODDAMMIT YOU PERV.

**Optimus Prime**: OH DEAR

**Megatron**: :C I AM DISPLEASED.

**Optimus Prime**: NO YOU ARENT

**Megatron**: YES I AM. FUCK YOU AND YOUR CRANE PENIS. FUCK YOU AND YOUR AUTOBOTS. I'M GOING HOME, BETCH.

**Optimus Prime**: OH, CAN'T TAKE THE HEAT NO MORE BITCH?

**Megatron**: AW HELL NO, THIS WAR AIN'T OVER YET.

**Optimus Prime**: WELL THEN BRING IT!

**Megatron**: :V BITCH YOU BETTER BE READY. I'VE STILL GOT THIS BIG ASS GUN RIGHT HERE. I'MA KILL YOU AND FUCKING SHIA

**Optimus Prime**: WELL KILL SHIA HE'S A PUSS BUT YOU CAN'T KILL ME MY CRANE PENIS IS TOO BIG

**Megatron**: YEAH I CAN...AND I CAN KILL LIEK EVERY OTHER ONE OF YOU GODDAMNED OBESE ROBOTS TOO

**Optimus Prime**: OH NO YOU CAN'T I'LL LIKE TURN INTO A BADASS TRUCK AND RAM U

**Megatron**: AWWWW SHIT WELL I'LL TURN INTO A BADASS...PLANE OR WHATEVER I TURN INTO AND SMASH YO FACE IN.

**Optimus Prime**: WELL I HAVE A COOLER PAINT JOB SO WHAT NOW NIGGA

**Megatron**: WUT U JUST CALL ME ASSHO'?

**Optimus Prime**: U NO

**Megatron**: HEYO NO OPTIMUS. JUST...HEYO NO. DO I HAVE TO CALL MAH DECEPTICONS TO COME AND WHOOP YO ASS 'CAUSE IT'S A SUNDAY AND THAT JUST AIN'T RIGHT.

**Optimus Prime**: NO WAY MY AUTOBOTS ARE SO TOTALLY BADASS, I FIXED EM ALL UP WITH CRANE PENISES TOO

**Megatron**: THAT'S JUST SICK

**Optimus Prime**: YOU KNOW YOU LIKE IT

**Megatron**: NO...NOT REALLY...UM...YOU KNOW, THIS IS JUST AWKWARD

**Optimus Prime**: NAW MAN ITS SMOOTH *turns on romantic music* U KNOW I ALWAYS

THOUGHT THIS WHOLE 'WAR' THING WAS JUST YOU TRYING TO GET IN MY BED MEGATRON. I TOLD MYSELF I WOULDNT FALL FOR YOU, BUT I CANT HELP IT

**Megatron**: WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS. IT'S LIKE EVERY BAD FANFICTION EVAR FUCKKKK SAVE ME DECEPTICONS

**Optimus Prime**: NO THEY ARE BEING ASS RAPED BY MY CRANE PENIS EQUIPED AUTOBOTS. NO ONE CAN SAVE YOU NOW. YOU MUST ABIDE TO MY WISHES AND BECOME MY LOVER

**Megatron**: BUT WE'RE WORST ENEMIES WE'VE BEEN THAT WAY SINCE 1981

**Optimus Prime**: ITS A NEW DECADE, ITS TIME FOR CHANGE. ADMIT YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN

SLIGHTLY ATTRACTED TO ME AND MY CRANE PENIS

**Megatron**: OKAY...MAYBE. BUT I'M STILL GOING TO KILL YOU ONE DAY, OPTIMUS

**Optimus Prime**: WELL IT IS BETTER TO HAVE LOVED AND LOST THAN NEVER TO HAVE LOVED, ER SOMETHIN LIKE THAT. IN OTHERWORDS LETS GET IT ON LIKE DONKEY KONG RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW

**Megatron:** OKAY WHATEVER. I'M PRETTY MUCH NUMB TO YOUR GIANT PENIS AS IT IS ANYWAY.

**Optimus Prime**: WELL LETS TRY ANOTHER HOLE THEN

**Megatron**: LOL OKAY *INSERT KINKY ROBOT SEX HERE*

_*Bumblebee is online*_

**Bumblebee**: MEGATRON? WHAT ARE YOU AND OPTIMUS DOING-OHGOD

**Optimus Prime**: ITS OK YOU CAN JOIN. THE MORE THE MERRIER

_*Bumblebee is offline*_

**Megatron**: THAT'S JUST GROSS OPTIMUS

**Optimus Prime**: HEY SHUT UP AND SUCK MY CRANE PENIS

**Megatron**: MY MOUTH CAN'T FIT AROUND THAT, SORRY

**Optimus Prime**: WE'LL MAKE IT FIT

**Megatron**: OKAY, I AM OFFICIALLY QUITTING BEING A DECEPTICON. FUCK THIS. I'MA GO

HAVE SEX WITH A TREE NOW.

**Optimus Prime**: FINE THEN! I WONT BE HERE WHEN YOU REALIZE YOU STILL LOVE ME!

—

Many fucks were had that day.


End file.
